Co-Parenting Foundations
Successful co-parenting requires commitment from both parents to prioritize children's needs over personal conflicts.
- Treat co-parenting as a business relationship
- Keep adult issues separate from parenting
- Respect the other parent's role in your child's life
- Be flexible when reasonable
- Support the child's relationship with both parents
Effective Communication
Clear, respectful communication is the cornerstone of successful co-parenting.
The BIFF Method
- Brief: Keep messages short
- Informative: Stick to facts
- Friendly: Maintain respectful tone
- Firm: End the discussion when appropriate
Managing Conflict
- Use co-parenting apps to reduce direct conflict
- Never argue in front of children
- Choose your battles wisely
- Consider a parenting coordinator for persistent disputes
- Focus on the present and future, not past grievances
Putting Children First
- Never put children in the middle
- Don't use children as messengers
- Avoid negative talk about the other parent
- Encourage the child's relationship with both parents
- Be consistent with discipline and routines
- Attend children's events without conflict
Frequently Asked Questions
Co-parenting involves regular communication and collaboration between parents on child-rearing decisions. Parallel parenting minimizes direct contact between high-conflict parents while both remain involved in the child's life, with each parent making day-to-day decisions during their parenting time.
Children adapt well to different household rules. Focus on consistency within each home rather than identical rules between homes. For major issues (education, health, safety), aim for agreement. For minor differences (bedtimes, screen time), allow each parent autonomy during their time.
Use written communication (email, co-parenting apps) for documentation. Keep messages brief, informative, friendly, and firm (BIFF method). If communication completely breaks down, consider a parenting coordinator or seek a court order establishing communication protocols.